[rain falls on a window]
Hey Cass, do you wanna be on the couch?
Let's get you on the couch. Come on.
I'll be right back.
[distant drone]
He's an assassin.
Meow.
hi baby :)
[ludicrous title sounds]
[various unintelligible news anchors]
"...colder night than usual last night with a low of about 10 degrees,
but after that bit of morning rain, looks like we're shaping up for a sunny day here in the Sunset District!"
"Control crews were busy last night wrestling a Chiseled Land Crab from a Tarplex shipment.
This is the first crab reported in the Lower Plains area in over five years. Fortunately..."
[rustling]
[ominous droning]
[clink]
[obnoxious inescapable party boat music]
"We're sorry, your call could not be completed."
Order's up!
...the market was built over the Stevenson River,
named after the regional mayor, John River.
Mornin' Jon! Can I get a rush Sansville piped down in 20?
Puttin' out fires!
No loitering.
Hey T.E.R.D., when are we gettin' our badges?
They're on backorder. Love the new TBoots.
Yeah alright.
Ma'am.
[clock chimes]
Alright- we are OPEN folks!
T.E.R.D. I need my badges!
They're on backorder!
SALADS!
Get your fresh delicious salads! I got all of the vegetables.
I got lettuce. I got carrots. I got radishes, I got onions, I got mushrooms.
I have everything.
SALADS! Come get your salads!
Put something healthy in your body! For once in your life!
Would you like a salad?
Yea.
Thank you.
It'll last all day if you eat it real slowly!
Thank you!
Have a nice day!
[clock chimes]
JOSEPHINE SIMON!
You must see the Floorhead immediately.
Come with me.
Look sharp! He never has anyone come down here.
HALT!
Hey look out that thing makes your teeth explode.
Get outta here.
Alright.
K', you're good.
Yeah you should really warn people about that teeth thing though...
uh... *cough*
OH. HELLO. ARE YOU FLOOR MERCHANT 9843882711739?
Maybe...
IS THIS *YOUR* MUG?
OH HEY DON'T WORRY YOU'RE THE SALAD GIRL YEAH?
I HEAR YOU HAVE 'THE GREEN THUMB'... MUST BE NICE HAHAHAHAHAHA
LOOK- LOOK TO YOUR LEFT
THAT'S MZ. SYLVAN OF THE HUSTANI MINING COALITION, AND A DEAR FRIEND.
OUR SURVEILLANCE SHOWS THAT AT SEVEN THIRTY MZ. SYLVAN HAD AN ATTEMPT MADE ON HER LIFE.
IT ALSO SHOWS THAT YOU THWARTED THE ATTEMPT. WITH THAT MUG.
RELATIONS BETWEEN THE OLDTOWN MCC AND THE DDMC GO BACK SEVERAL GENERATIONS.
IMAGINE MY DELIGHT, FLOOR MERCHANT 9843882711739,
TO DISCOVER YOU WORKED HERE. IN MY MARKET.
I AM IN YOUR DEBT.
IS THERE ANYTHING AT ALL YOU NEED? BE HONEST. OUR RESOURCES ARE NOT INSUBSTANTIAL.
Can I make a phone call?
A PHONE CALL? HAHAHAHAHA
THAT'S WITHIN OUR MEANS. WHAT'S THE NUMBER?
You knocked it out of the park down there, kid. Unfortunately, I have some bad news.
the line's down between here and extension 17.
...oh.
Not to worry though! I've been authorized to bring out The Big Guns.
[distant rumble]
Ah! Ah yes, yes well.
Those would be The Big Guns.
Come this way.
Don't tell anyone, but some of us believe Mz Sylvan might actually be his great-granddaughter.
Here we are.
Hey what is this?
Still in transit. Just wait.
You did this??
Oh it's nothing; just a demi-truce with the East Innerflight Coalition- it's what I do.
Oh! This is the good part.
[SMASH! CRASH! Screaming people]
"JACKIE SIMON! YOU MUST BRING JACKIE SIMON TO ME!"
he he he.
JACKIE! Jackie!
"JACKIE? JACKIE I LOVE YOU!"
Jo?
"YEAH!"
Hey! Why are you a big missile?
"I'M NOT. I'M MAKING A PHONE CALL!"
I just really missed you.
Yeah. I missed you too.
I'm sorry it's been so long. The omegadrill just unearthed a new suburb; we're just drowning in minivans.
Oh! Minivans. Should I- am I bothering you?
No! No no no no no. No.
It just means I've been gone longer than we planned.
But I'm- I'm making good money, though. More than expected. "Uptown" money.
Uptown? Really?
If you're still interested. And University money, too- if you want!
You- you'd send me to a university?
You're still smart, right?
When are you coming home?
Eleven PM.
Today?
Yeah! So just literally 10 minutes ago, foreman called me and said that they
were going to pay me *triple* my annual contract, as long as I got on a plane home tonight.
What's goin' on, Jo?
Wait- you're coming home tonight.
Yes.
You promise?
Yes!
What if your plane crashes?
They say that hardly ever happens. One in five chances, at most.
Ok! Well. I'll pick you up at the airport tonight.
Great! I'll see you then.
I love you! Goodbye!
I love you too!
Statistically, the odds of dying in a plane accident are-
Thank you.
Eh. It's nothing. I should be thanking you!
For what?
Oh I dunno. Just being polite. Wait! For saving Mz Sylvan!
That's literally the point of all this. Wow that's embarrassing.
I'll see you later.
Goodbye... good luck!
[cooing]
See ya, Sophie!
[cheering from television]
Yeah what can I getcha?
Can I get two pork tacoburgers and one regular.
Thanks!
[They're moving into position now- what a sight!]
[cheering]
[Big Puppy measures in at 9 meters tall, making him one of the larger of the Old Guard.]
[Armed today with a Hem'shi Armament. Don't see many of those.]
[Our unexpected guest, a Horny Landcrab, caught raiding a delivery truck on highway 12 this morning.]
Thank you!
[crowd goes wild]
[What an unfortunate turn of events for Nutlad, with such a pathetic maneuver.]
I don't feel good I don't feel good I don't feel good.
IF YOU'D LIKE TO MAKE A CALL, PLEASE HANG UP AND TRY AGAIN.
[frustrated screaming]